Will work...because I love it

I have been staring at this screen for days. Wanting to write, but not having any ideas.  Needing to write, but worried to share.  I finally settled on this safe topic, working!

I have worked a lot in my life, mostly teaching swim lessons and lifeguarding.  I actually started teaching swim lessons and coaching around age 12. I never asked to be paid, but I would get things like gift cards and eventually started getting money for teaching lessons, but I would have gladly done it without the money.  I also taught some private lessons for kids that I coached.  That led me to a job when I was 15 lifeguarding and teaching lessons where I was actually getting a paycheck.  I liked that job a lot when I started.  I loved the people that I worked with! I was younger than most of them and so when they all left, I was still working there.  Yeah, some new people came in that I liked well enough, but it was never the same.  Some of my favorite memories of those years of my life are with those people I started with at that job.  It was kind of hard without them.  That was when I knew that I didn't want to be there anymore.  I was doing it for the money and orginally the money was just a bonus and I would have worked for free. Don't get me wrong, I love kids and I love teaching but some things had changed and I was not excited about working there anymore.

When I left that job was also around the same time that I started getting really into horses.  I had plans to attend camp for four weeks to be an advanced wrangler in training.  The pool manager said he didn't know if he could save me a spot for later in the summer if I was planning on being gone for four weeks.  And I told him that was okay, just put me on the substitute list, I'll come when I can.  A year before that, I may have stayed home from camp to work. And I am so very glad that I didn't.  That four weeks helped me to realize that I wanted to work with horses.  After that four weeks I was hired to work as a counselor and I wanted it so badly when I applied that I would've done it for free.  Looking back, I can't believe I ever thought that.  Being a counselor is hard work.  Not only physically, but mentally.  Those kids wear. you. out. I think it's not necessarily harder than being a parent, but it's similar.  Similar and harder in specific areas.  For anyone who's ever done it, you know exactly what I mean.  The next summer I worked as a lifeguard and the following a wrangler.  I have wanted to be a wrangler since I was ten years old and I loved every single second of it.  I absolutely would have done it for free. Camp has been the highlight of my summer since before I can remember. I can't imagine summer without it.  It makes my heart ache to know that I may be saying goodbye soon.  I love camp so much and I would work there for free because I love it. 

Working with horses at camp, outside of camp, at school, and outside of school has furthered my love for the horse world and what comes with that.  I know that it's hard work but that is part of why I love it so much.  I can't imagine doing anything else with my life.  Sometimes I doubt myself and I need someone to help me realize that I can do it, and that I will succeed.  I know that I can succeed because I do love it so much.   I am paying tuition to work with horses now just like I had to pay to go to camp.  Hopefully in the future I will be getting paid to work with horses and I would do it for free. 

I learned at a young age that if love what you do for a living then you can't really call it work.  And that is all I have ever really wanted.  To do what I love and to love what I do. 

My Best Friend, The Lazy Bum

I'll start with this letter I already gave to you.
Lazy Bum,
I wanted to tell you that I understand and I will always, always love you.  I'll miss you so much, but I'll look back on our memories here and smile.  I'll miss going to Tucker everyday with you, cuddling in your bed, sharing stories, yelling "lazy bum" when I walk onto our floor and hearing you respond when you're awake and waking you up when you aren't.  Thanks for letting me use your printer, and your shampoo, and your q-tips.  Thanks for always letting me eat your Oreo's and sharing chips and salsa with me.  You've always been there for me and I don't know what I would've done without you.  I'll miss our our ipod jam sessions in Megan's car, our movie nights, window creeping, and laughing the whole way to Tucker because that car wouldn't go.  I can't believe you are leaving, but I'm so glad you get to be home with your family.  I want you to know that 'My life would suck without you' and I am happy that I can call you my best friend.
P.S. You'll have to come back a lot so someone brushes my hair.  I love you!

You are an incredible friend.  I don't want to lose you. I know you are doing what is best for you and that is so important!  I have trouble thinking about William Woods and Alpha Chi without you.  I know that when the time comes, tears will too.  And you know how little that happens for me.  I don't know if I can express what you mean to me.  We lived synchronized lives and I have loved every moment of it.  Even though sometimes you're too quiet or too loud and you take WAY to long to shower I love you.  Even though you are a lazy bum almost all of the time and sleep a lot I love you.  I love you even though you boots are hoosier and you don't really know what that means.  And you can't walk and drink at the same time.  We've been through great times and hard times together, boy troubles and friend troubles, love and loss, and I trust you with my life (you're a crazy driver even if you don't know it).  I've grown up since being here even though I never thought I would.  You've been there with me. Through it all.  It just doesn't seem like enough...



My life would suck without you.

Live, Love, Laugh.

I never really liked the popularity common phrases like Live. Love. Laugh.  or Peace, Love,____.  But I feel like I have learned a lot recently about living, loving, and laughing. 

Living.
Everyone says live life to the fullest, you never know when today could be your last. While I do agree with that statement I feel more strongly that you should live your life.  Just live your life. Do what you want or what you have to do.  Don't waste your life.  Every moment you spend should be doing something to get you somewhere or with someone you love or doing something that you love.  Sometimes I feel like I have already lived so much of my life it scares me.  But I know I'm doing everything I can to have happiness in my life and that is really all that matters to me.



Love.
Most people see love as something special, something to be reserved in relationships for 'the right time' I agree that love is something very special but it isn't something to be held back.  Love is not scary.  I knew in kindergarten, the first day I met my best friend Kim that I loved her as a person.  She was awkward and shy but we were 5, who isn't?! At five years old I loved her because she was nice and fun! In middle school she had a boyfriend or 2 and we didn't hang out as much but I knew that I could always count on her and whenever we were together it was like we'd never been apart.  In high school she was the friend that I could have a conversation with and we didn't even have to speak.  We just knew.  Now in college we swap stories and look back on all of the stuff we have been through together.  We both still remember the first day we met.  Kim is the person outside of my family that I have loved the longest and I know this is what has kept us friends for 15 years (We're old hahaha).  I love you Bo!
My family has also been a big influence on this I believe.  Every time we talk on the phone "I love you" is said before we hang up.  Even my 3 year old niece will get on the phone and say it when I talk to my sister.  I wouldn't say we throw it around loosely.  We just say it a lot.  Love is so important in a persons life.  It is the driving force for many.  You cannot live without it.

Laugh.
I have laughed so hard my stomach hurt for days.  Laughing will make you forget all of the things that may be wrong in the moment because all you can do is laugh.  Tickling is unfair.  Sometimes it is entirely necessary, but still unfair. Laughing is part of life.  Part that makes it enjoyable, memorable, and unique.  Not everyone will laugh for 20 minutes because Gianna can't walk and drink at the same time.  But Megan and I sure can.  Not everyone would laugh when Jessica calls this my bunny jacket, but we sure will!  That's part of the specialness in friendships and in life.  Laughing so hard that you cry. Laughing at other people laughing.  I truly believe that laughing is part of life and without it how can you love your life?

Live, Love, and Laugh together make up what essential pieces of life.  You can't live without loving or laughing.  Well I guess you could, but it wouldn't be truly living.

I am so lucky.  I have amazing friends and  family who give me so much even if the don;t really know it!

this is for all of you:  I LOVE YOU!!