Today I put my lavalier back on

Last semester I was working in the barn a lot ( I was responsible for the daily care of 7 horses).  I was starting to get a rash on my neck all around where the chain of my lavalier hung.  So I took it off and put it in my jewelry box.  And that is where it stayed until today.

This action came to symbolize a period in my life for me.  This period in my life was one where I let go of all of my Alpha Chi Omega values, support, and experiences.  I spent little to no time around my sisters and I did not attend very many chapter events.  Yeah, I was always busy during these things I missed, but I probably could have worked to change that.  I gave no excuses, had no regrets, and had a generally bad attitude.  For this and other reasons I won't get in to, I wanted to leave.  I had planned to.  My feelings were hurt when I was thinking about leaving Alpha Chi, because I felt like no one noticed or cared.  But I was the one who didn't care.  I wouldn't have given someone the time of day if they had tried to talk to me.  They probably did, not that I noticed.  It was all on me.  I don't like to go back on promises I make, so I was planning to stay until after recruitment, after my duties as a pi chi (recruitment counselor) were over.  I know I've said this before, but I will say it again.  I truly believe everything happens for a reason.  Being a Pi Chi was my saving grace.  If not for that, I would have left behind my sisterhood, my friends, and one of the most important things in my life.  All because I was having serious trouble balancing things. 

I took my lavalier off first, but then I stopped wearing my letters all together.  My AXO t-shirts were buried in the bottom of my drawers, my AXO bags were left unused, and my heart was somewhere else too.


I went through a pretty tough time, I don't like to share those things with other people though. I tend to turn inward on myself and just get quiet.  It took some seriously great friends to get me through this and I'm thankful for them.  These new friends I made changed parts of my outlook on life.  I needed them so badly then and I can't believe I was without them for so long. 

At the end of the summer, I tried not to think about how it would feel to be back, really back, here.  But when I was here I immediately felt the exact same way when I stepped through the doors two years ago for the first time.  I belong here and I think part of me has always known that.  Sometimes it just gets lost in the mess of life.  Shortly after I was back here I had to leave again to fulfill 'duties' of a Pi Chi (recruitment counselor).  I temporarily moved in with 12 members of different sororities.  I had thought living with these women was going to be awkward, uncomfortable, and stressful even.  But it was AMAZING.  We bonded over silly youtube videos and a common love of Greek Life.  We shared every second together and couldn't have gotten along any better!  We laughed so hard ALL THE TIME.  It reminded me of how it was to bond with my AXO sisters in the beginning.  These women helped spread and share the love for Greek Life with the new students.  It reminded me of how much I want to change what the world thinks of sororities and how much I truly, deeply love everything they stand for.  It was these women who reminded me the strength and love that grows from the bonds of sisterhood.  Nothing will ever compare to the experiences I have been fortunate enough to have through Alpha Chi Omega and I cannot imagine being who I am today without it. 

Much like my veganism, I know people don't understand this and it's something I care about with all my heart.     

Eventually, my attitude changed. I started thinking about all the things Alpha Chi had taught me.  All the things I had experienced.  And then I thought about what I'd be without out Alpha Chi Omega. And I'm a creative person, but I literally could not imagine myself without it.  Someone once told me, "You radiate the spirit of you chapter" and someone told my sister "Katie is going Alpha Chi, we just know it"  Even before I knew it.  I am an Alpha Chi Omega.  And I ALWAYS will be. And Today I put my lavalier back on. 
  LITB <3